Sleeping dogs

Living in denial, they’ll tell you, is a sure recipe for disaster. If you ask me, however, it’s a pretty good strategy to deal with issues you don’t want to deal with...if you know what I mean. And, I’m not trying to be cute here. I know this will amount to a bad analogy but it’s like, in cricket, when a batsman does not play at the ball pitched just outside his off stump, we’re quick to endorse it with a “Well played”. This when the batsman has made no attempt to play a shot and has, in fact, let the ball go.

I’m no expert on the subject, I know. At the same time, however, I also know that my own experiences cannot be ignored. Even if what I believe runs contrary to conventional wisdom or popular belief. The trouble with theories, I think, is that there’s too much generalisation. To suggest that a theory – and I don’t care who propounded it – applies equally to all of us is dangerous. Because, then, it enjoins upon us a specific reaction to a given situation. Almost as though we ought to behave and react in the instructed way. A learning by rote, if you will.

That two and two add up to four makes sense. But, to suggest that the same logic should apply to emotions and human experience is absurd. To me, at least, it is. Because our emotions are a little more complex than mathematical computations. The latter is based on a cold, logical progression that allows room neither for deviation nor any creative approach. There’s the straight and narrow and then there’s the wrong answer. Emotions, on the other hand, are rarely, if ever, guided by logic. And that’s perhaps why, many times, we find ourselves reacting differently to similar situations at different times. There’s an unpredictability about us, which, as far as I can tell, is a pretty good warning against painting everyone with the same brush.

Just as we react differently to physical stimulants and physical trauma, among other things, we’ve also evolved different mechanisms to cope with emotional stress, difficult memories and particularly painful experiences. My approach needn’t necessarily mirror yours. Unlike you, chocolate might be the last thing on my mind when I’m down. Unlike me, kissing a stranger on the street when you’re the happiest you’ve ever been may be unthinkable for you. A neighbour’s death may cause you to instantly burst into tears. I, on the other hand, may be completely devoid of tears even when the death occurs in the family. So, if we have completely different responses to sadness, joy and loss, respectively, why should our approach to dealing with past issues be the same?

Sometimes, people are unable to deal with certain aspects of their lives...certain experiences and memories. Sometimes the demons are so large and well-fed that one just doesn’t have the courage to take them on. Sometimes it seems that confronting them will lead to an even bigger disaster. Sometimes, therefore, people choose not to mess with them. To leave them to their own devices, perhaps in the fond hope that, some day, these demons will get tired and lose their way in the deepest recesses of the mind, which is where they reside anyway. And, what’s wrong with that?

Let sleeping dogs lie, I say.