In my last post I had mentioned that I’m not much of a rituals person and that I dislike priests. With rare passion, I might add. Here’s one more reason why I’ll put up with a six-foot cobra but not this annoying, parasitical species...

Yesterday, a classmate and friend from long ago called up from down south. He’d heard about the death at home and wanted to offer his condolences. He said he’d been meaning to call for a long time but was caught up with a few things of his own. As it turned out, he’d lost his elder brother. The brother, a bachelor, died in a road accident. We were discussing our mutual dislike for the rituals that follow death when he told me something that was absolutely shocking. And bizarre.

Apparently, rituals for married people differ from those for unmarried folk. When they finally reached a decision about what was to be done for my friend’s brother, the priest came up with a new problem. He insisted that, before those agreed upon rituals could be performed, the unmarried dead brother had to be formally married. My friend was appalled and, justifiably so, protested. He had a major argument with the priest (my reaction might’ve been more physical and, therefore, infinitely more suitable) and his own family members who, like him, were completely unaware of the rule but who didn’t want to offend the priest. Perhaps because he was outnumbered, and considering the nature of the occasion, my friend had no choice but to give in. As a result, a marriage ceremony was conducted for the poor dead man before his last rites could be performed. Does that make any sense? Of course, I didn’t have the heart to ask my friend who his brother was married to. This whole business would’ve been symbolic, I know, but, still, does it make any sense at all? I don’t think so.

Not only does the family have to deal with their loss and grief, now they also have to put up with such complete nonsense. When I asked another friend, who is also from the south, she said she’d never heard of anything like this!

I have no doubt in my mind that, like almost every other damned ritual and ceremony that unsuspecting folk are asked to perform, this too has its origins in these rascals’ greed to corner extra money. For instance, if a human being were to die while still on a bed, as opposed to passing away while lying down on the floor, you’re expected to perform an extra ritual, over and above the others that are laid down, because, apparently, this brings peace to the soul. And, oh, this additional ritual will cost you an extra four hundred bucks!

These shits, they so piss me off!