To say that the last eight or nine months have been very strange and very difficult for me, even life altering in some ways, would be an understatement. But, having learnt my bitter lesson, that will all go down in a very personal and secret blog that I hope to start very soon :-)

Anyway, moving on...first, let me thank all of you for your comments and condolence messages. I really appreciate it.

I don’t know how many of you have had the occasion to be part of funeral proceedings from close quarters. Although this was the second time in my immediate family, it was my first in terms of complete involvement. And, I wish I had something nice to say about the whole business. On the contrary, some of the rituals seemed completely morbid to me and, in fact, made my stomach turn...in a manner of speaking. Although some of my friends think otherwise, even offering reasons and explanations behind some of the rituals and acts, I’m not convinced at all. What makes it worse for me is the involvement of priests, whose mere sight has always been enough to give me a hemorrhage. The whole system has been designed and manipulated by these wretches, whose only aim appears to be to benefit themselves and their greedy brethren.

It’s like Tabula Rasa said on his blog some time back, and again in his comment against my last post, death is not about the person who passes on. It’s really about those that this person leaves behind. I remember writing in his blog that I’m quite okay with death. I can handle death, even that of those around me. What is really difficult, however, is to see the person suffer. In both the cases at home, unfortunately, there was some suffering. This time, the last few hours were particularly difficult for the person and quite painful to watch. What was really shocking was the astonishing speed at which this person’s condition worsened. Even the doc, whom we called over a few minutes before the end came, was taken aback at seeing this person and the deterioration in the three weeks since the person had been discharged from hospital. Given this person’s age and the suddenness of it all, somehow, makes the whole thing seem unreal...as though it hasn’t really happened.

When I die, I want to be taken straight to the electric crematorium and be done with. I would like the ashes to be scattered on any patch of green...ideally, among my many pots and plants at home. My eyes have been pledged since 1989 and, hopefully, whoever is around me when I go will have the decency to allow them to be taken for another human being to use. I also wish to pledge use of all the other organs of my body, either for the benefit of other human being/s or for scientific and medical research.