Thoughts and other trivia...

Monday, June 05, 2006

A couple of days ago, I came across a blog, anotherlamexcuse.blogspot.com, by a seemingly very angry young lady. the title of the post I have in mind was, My theory is, people are friggin' idiots...Well, one may agree with this, or not, but let's just say that, sometimes, people will give you pretty good reasons to categorise them in such..er...harsh terms.

Anyway, the following are some questions that were actually asked in real courts, along with some real answers that the said questions elicited.

(#11 is a killer...actually, all of them are.)

  1. "Were you present when your picture was taken?"
  2. "Was it you or your younger brother that was killed in the war?"
  3. "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
  4. "You were there until the time you left. Is that true?"
  5. "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8?" "Yes." "And, what were you doing at that time?"
  6. "You say the stairs went down to the basement?" "Yes." "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
  7. "How was your first marriage terminated?" "By death." "And by whose death was it terminated?"
  8. "All your answers must be oral, OK? Which school did you go to?" "Oral."
  9. "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?" "The autopsy started around 8.30 pm." "And, the man was dead at that time?" "No, he was sitting on the table, wondering why I was doing the autopsy."
  10. "Did he kill you?"
  11. "You were not shot in the fracas?" "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel."

18 Comments:

Blogger Salil said...

Quality! There's also the ever-popular "Did you hurt yourself?", when part of someone comes in contact with glass/metal/brick/etc.

4:31 pm  
Blogger the-think said...

Heeehehehe!!
Ok ok, i know, i start laughing at really silly things, but the 10th one i really liked! heheee

7:08 pm  
Blogger cactusjump said...

rotfl!

9:06 pm  
Blogger cactusjump said...

rotfl!

9:06 pm  
Blogger Fingers said...

Thoo much!
(what a bunch of freakin idiots)

:)

hahahaha

1:18 am  
Blogger km said...

I think I'll start calling them fracas :)

3:45 am  
Anonymous chandni said...

LMAO

There is no limit of stupidity!!!

Nice unexpected post from u :D

8:33 am  
Blogger kundalini said...

:)

9:46 am  
Blogger MockTurtle said...

Nice!
...and don't forget this one.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

8:04 pm  
Blogger sattva said...

quite funny :)

8:54 pm  
Blogger Sonia said...

: ). i've read these before. but i find it hard to believe that these were questions that were actually asked in court.

1:11 am  
Blogger Seema said...

really amusing..had my laugh for the day !!!

3:40 pm  
Blogger Cocaine Jesus said...

some of these are damn funny. especially the school one. 'Oral'. yeah, right!

5:14 pm  
Blogger Salil said...

GOTJ: Ever seen any of Blackadder? If you enjoy such stupidity, worth getting just to see Baldrick (and in the last two seasons, Prince/Lieutenant George).

Baldrick: The funny thing is, my father was a nun.
Blackadder: [firmly] No he wasn't.
Baldrick: He was so, sir. I know, 'cos whenever he was up in court, and the judge used to say "occupation", he'd say "nun".

11:39 am  
Blogger GhostOfTomJoad said...

Salil: I don't "enjoy such stupidity" on a regular basis but, I have to admit, it's pretty good once in a while :-)
That father-nun thing is funny :-)


The-think, Cactusjump, Fingers: Glad you liked it :-)


KM: Them? :-\ I'd be a little more careful before lauching into a renaming spree, pal :-)


Chandni: Oh, always expect the unexpected from me :-)


Kundalini: :-)


MockTurtle: Glad to see you back, man :-)


Sattva: Yeah, they're funny :-)


Sonia: Oh, you better believe it :-)


Seema: Glad we could be of some assistance :-)


Cocaine Jesus: :-)

7:17 pm  
Blogger Old Spice said...

Yeah, yeah, laugh at the lawyers for being such idiots.

To be honest, though, I think these are exactly the sort of bloopers I'd come up with when examining a witness. Reality is that in the effort to get a case across, it's rather easy to lose track of reality. I've not examined witnesses or anything yet, but the thought terrifies me. Convincing a judge is one thing, as a lawyer. Talking to real people is quite another entirely.

7:10 am  
Blogger Old Spice said...

And to prove my idiot lawyerliness, I write a sentence like "Reality is that in the effort to get a case across, it's rather easy to lose track of reality." And I do so unintentionally. See how hard it is?

7:13 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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11:54 pm  

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