Thoughts and other trivia...

Sunday, February 12, 2012

In a Compromising Position

“Sex outside the marriage = infidelity is a simplistic definition” because “bedroom rules, say experts, have altered.” That’s the gist of an article in the Sunday supplement today.

But, this has been happening for the longest time and I’m not even talking about the keys-in-the-bowl dos. Spouses (read ‘wives’) have been known to look the other way and put up with their more adventurous partners for as long as one knows. A majority of them then learned to live with it for either the sake of the kids or the shame the scandal would bring to their extended families.

So, what’s changed? “The boundaries of sexual loyalty are being stretched to accommodate a few peccadilloes here and there,” says the article. But, wait! There’s a rider, says the good doctor, a psychiatrist. “The difference is in the humiliation. When your partner gets intimate with someone from your social circle, your self-esteem takes a beating.” Ah, the trick then is to sleep with someone your partner can’t/won’t know! Don’t you just love pop psychology!

What has changed, I think, is that we’ve learned how to put a spin on it, to push ‘compromise’ or acceptance as a solution. A lot of it, I think, has to do with the perpetuation of the ‘boys will be boys’ stereotype. “Acceptance of infidelity is the only way to look forward,” says the writer. And, what an awful way to live that is, say I.

I think it’s perfectly alright if people want to sleep around and have multiple partners. It’s entirely their business and no one else has a say in it. But, the way I see it, when one is in a committed relationship, married or otherwise, one has, sort of, forfeited that license. If you can’t find everything you need in one person, why commit?

Anyway, that’s why it’s so good to be a man - you don’t have to worry about being faithful! Er, let’s talk about sex, shall we?

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