The really good scrambled eggs!

If you’ve grown up in an average north Indian home, chances are you would’ve also had the kind of scrambled eggs that I grew up having...you know, with oil, onion, tomato and salt? And, like me, perhaps, you also hated it but continued having it, anyway. (I’m too polite for my own good, I tell you.)

There wasn’t much to like about the way these scrambled eggs were made or tasted but, as a child, democracy and rights aren’t words and concepts that one is either familiar with or knows the meaning of...if one can pronounce them in the first place. (This reminds me of the time, must’ve been when I was in Class I, when I struggled to say “Congratulations” to a classmate, who, incidentally, had pipped me to first position and whom my father insisted I should call and congratulate. So, not only did I have to suffer the indignity of eating the bitter humble pie at an early age and conceding defeat to a smug foe, I also had to suffer the humiliation of offering something I neither understood nor was able to pronounce. As a mark of rebellion against such inhumane treatment, I resolved never to feature in the top ten of my class, school or college list ever again. And, I’m glad to report, till the end, I never made the toppers’ lists again!) Anyway, like it or not, if something was served, you just had to eat it.

As soon as I was able to assert my right to freedom of choice, I started to cook eggs the way I liked them...without onion and without tomato. (The former is very high on the list of things I dislike with a passion, especially in its uncooked avatar. Mouth jackers, that’s what they are!) I don’t know if I’m right in assuming this but, when cooked in combination, onions and tomatoes tend to make the eggs a bit gooey, which, I’m afraid, I don’t like very much. Anyhow, without these two ingredients, the eggs started to turn out fine. Fine, and infinitely more edible, but still boring and unadventurous. But, since I didn’t know any other way, I continued with the same old routine – break eggs into bowl, add some salt, whip it, add a dash of milk, whip some more, pour it into the pan, fry, add some pepper and eat with toast. Like I said, this was the only way I knew.

Early last year, while watching TV, I found another way to make scrambled eggs. It was only slightly different from my way but there was a huge difference in the way the eggs finally turned out. For a change, the end product not only started to look edible, it also started to taste good! There’s nothing fancy about it and, perhaps, some of you who cook well may even find it too simple but, for me, it’s just perfect!

Anyway, if you’re going to try making it, this is what you’ll need to make enough for one person:

2 eggs
The leafy part of a spring onion, chopped
8-10 pepper balls, crushed coarsely
Salt
Butter
Cheese, if you like
Milk
Chopped mushrooms, if you like (I don’t, not in my eggs)

Break the eggs in a bowl and beat well. Add salt, to taste (some people like to sprinkle it over the eggs when they’re done. I prefer to add it right at the beginning.) Beat some more. Add milk, again, to taste. (I use a lot of it.) Beat some more.

Melt some butter in a pan, which should be kept on a medium low fire. When the butter is hot, add the egg mixture to the pan and scramble it around. After it starts to solidify a little, add the cheese. Drop in the spring onion leaves soon after. Move the whole thing around nicely in the pan. Add the pepper and switch off the heat. Serve immediately with whatever you eat your eggs with.

Adding the leafy part of the onions at that late stage may seem odd but, believe me, it works really well, making the eggs nice and crunchy. And, colourful. When made well, the finished product looks golden in colour, is fabulously soft, smells great and tastes even better!

If you’re going to try it, I hope you like it...if not, well, you can blame your cooking skills :-)

(And, TR, you'd better try this now!)

Received a mail from a friend today, with a poem against drunken driving. It originated in the US, and has been initiated by MADD (Mothers Against Drunken Driving...or, is it Drunk Drivers?)

Makes sense.

WENT TO A PARTY, MOM

I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom
So I had a Sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
That I didn't drink and drive,
Though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right,
The party finally ended,
And the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece,
I never knew what was coming, Mom
Something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.

My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
This girl is going to die.

I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high,
Because he chose to drink and drive,
Now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
Like a hundred stabbing knives.

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave,
And when I go to heaven,
Put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.

Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom
I'm getting really scared.
These are my final moments,
And I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, "I love you, Mom!"
So I love you and good-bye.

In deference to persistent public demand and in view of the humbling, worldwide fame I seem to have acquired through the Chinese orange marmalade post, I find I have no choice but to write about food once again. I guess, there’s only so much that one can evade social responsibility without feeling any guilt :-)

I cooked something last night that I haven’t made for a really long time. It’s actually a friend’s adaptation of some sort of beef curry. A vegetarian, like myself, he substituted the beef with Nutri Nuggets (Soya chunks) and came up with a very fine dish. For those who may not know this, Soya is an incredibly good substitute for meat and, chances are, you can fool even hardcore meat eaters into believing that they’re consuming some kind of meat. Some of my friends make rather good vegetarian kababs, of different types, with Soya. In fact, even white channa (chick pea) is pretty good, and convincing, for one type of vegetarian kababs. But, we digress...To make the Soya curry...

• Soak Soya nuggets for an hour in water and Marmite/Soya sauce.

• Chop two potatoes into cubes.

• Slice one large onion and lots of garlic and some ginger.

• In a pan/pressure cooker, in a little oil, fry whole spices – cinnamon, cardamom, clove and black pepper.

• Add onion.

• Add garlic and ginger paste and two split chillies.

• Fry and then add powdered spices

Jeera – 1-2 tsps

Dhania – 1-2 tsps

Haldi – 1 flat tsp

Amchoor – 1 heaped spoon

Red chilly powder – ½ teaspoon

• Add 2-3 large chopped tomatoes.

• Sprinkle salt and stir a few times.

• Lower flame and cover till tomatoes have dissolved.

• Squeeze out Soya nuggets and add to pressure cooker/pan.

• Stir a while in the spices and add potatoes.

• Stir some more.

• Cover with water and cover the vessel with lid.

• Cook for 20 minutes or until Soya nuggets are soft and cooked.

• Taste for salt and add lemon juice to taste.

• Thicken curry with corn flour paste, if you like.

• Serve hot with rice, with a sprinkling of fresh coriander.

Enjoy!

(Coming soon, a post on scrambled eggs...and I mean really good scrambled eggs.)

A couple of days ago, I came across a blog, anotherlamexcuse.blogspot.com, by a seemingly very angry young lady. the title of the post I have in mind was, My theory is, people are friggin' idiots...Well, one may agree with this, or not, but let's just say that, sometimes, people will give you pretty good reasons to categorise them in such..er...harsh terms.

Anyway, the following are some questions that were actually asked in real courts, along with some real answers that the said questions elicited.

(#11 is a killer...actually, all of them are.)

1. "Were you present when your picture was taken?"
2. "Was it you or your younger brother that was killed in the war?"
3. "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
4. "You were there until the time you left. Is that true?"
5. "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8?" "Yes." "And, what were you doing at that time?"
6. "You say the stairs went down to the basement?" "Yes." "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
7. "How was your first marriage terminated?" "By death." "And by whose death was it terminated?"
8. "All your answers must be oral, OK? Which school did you go to?" "Oral."
9. "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?" "The autopsy started around 8.30 pm." "And, the man was dead at that time?" "No, he was sitting on the table, wondering why I was doing the autopsy."
10. "Did he kill you?"
11. "You were not shot in the fracas?" "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel."