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Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Holy Cow

I wasn’t going to write again, not after what was meant to be the last post, that lovely farewell song, but, what the hell, who’s going to stop me? Sometimes, something, or someone, touches a raw nerve and you want to get it all out just so that you’ll feel better. So, I’ll let this be my final indulgence.

I met someone after a long time yesterday. He used to be a very good friend once. “You don’t call, you don’t keep in touch...what is this, yaar?” he complained. Yeah, right.

It’s taken me a long time to realise that with some ‘friends’, it was always only about them. Their personal problems, their career concerns, their relationship issues, their joys, their ups and their downs...everything relating to them. I’ve had people monopolise my time because they had no one else at that point but who are barely in touch now; people who would land up at all odd hours when in town because they had nowhere else to go but who don’t so much as call or visit now when they have options; people who would spill their guts out because they thought they couldn’t say it to anyone else but who now make excuses about why they’re not in touch; people who expect to be understood at all times but who will not extend the same courtesy to you even if you’ve been through, or are in the middle of, a really bad’s staggering just how skewed the equation has been all along with these ‘friends’. It makes you feel like such a fool for not seeing this for so long. It makes you feel like a fool because, at the end of it, you’re still going to be seen as the bad guy.

But, as I was telling this guy, things have changed. Because, to use cricketing terminology, I’m putting a price on my wicket now. If you want us to stay in touch and be friends, you have to make all the effort now.

Because we were good friends once, I’ll always wish the best for you but I’m done. No more holy cows for me.


Blogger Indira Ghosh said...

We have a common friend and I’ve followed your blog for a while – don’t freak out, okay? :~) In fact I did comment once before also....on that child abuse post, long time ago? Anyway from what she’s told me you’re one of the really good ones. So I just wanted to say that I can empathize. A lot of people think they are good friends but if they look at it dispassionately, they’ll see that while they take a lot, they give back nothing/very little in return. But sometimes its also a matter of luck – maybe you haven’t found the right people? Its like what someone said – you just have to find those who are worth suffering for.

5:46 pm  

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